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altezachen
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Name: Albert Tezachen
Location: Meridian, United States
Birthday: 4/16/1949
Gender: Male
Interests: in order of onset...
food and shelter, catching bugs, farming, science,music(practice),girls,music(performing),drugs,organic synthesis,perpetual motion
Expertise: apiculture,aviation,,aromatic esters,agriculture,altezachen,aramaic,assembly language
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/2/2006
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| This featured question is so sublimely recursive and self-referential that I find it impossible to believe it wasn't invented by a sly word-playa, but was instead posed by an innocent teen-ager:
Question: "Do you ever have difficulty saying No? Can you give an example?
Answer: No! and I just did.
Actually, I'd like to rephrase that answer:
A: Well, kinda, yes, I mean, no not really, but I can feel the questioner wants me to say yes, so she can feel a little less guilty for sleeping with stupid Kyle on the first date, so I'll say yeah, and we'll both feel better. Kyle too, even though he's got no right to.
And as for an example this time, um...I just gave you one.
Seriously, trouble saying 'No' will plague you all your life, so practice in front of a mirror, kids. As a study aid, grab a form from a doctor, for example; you know: "Have you ever had any of the following diseases: Dropsy, Scurvy, the Yaws, Tsoris-iasis....? and just say 'No!'. It gets easier with practice.
Did I just answer Today's Featured Question? Well, yes and no. | | |
| A pair of stink-bug lovers decided to borrow my arm for a few minutes of getting to know each other. Got me thinking. Of course. While I waited...and waited. I'm so considerate. They're human too, you know. Well, they ain't got their own Quickee-Marts, or The Bomb...yet. Give em time.
Really, the fact of their being Alive in a universe so absurdly dominated by "dead stuff"..you know, unthinking Hydrogen and Helium, is not too much less wondrous than our own "human" accomplishments. And don't get me started about how many billions of years it takes to "cook" up the Oxygen, Carbon, Nitrogen, etc. to make life work. Plus tryin to get a ball of rock to circle just the right star at just the right distance, with one just the right size Moon. Pick up Bill Bryson's wonderful book ("A Short History of Nearly Everything".). I mean, you wet your pants if your Lottery number "comes in". That's one-in-a-thousand. Congratulations! Try One in Ten followed by about 35 zeros! The amazing thing is how few people consider themselves "lucky". Ok, the first door you try opens into Paradise, you blunder in, plop down and start bitching about the weather. Its the back side of the great Anthropic Principle. Yeah, if you'd had to try like 10 or 15 quadrillion locked doors till your dick fell off,then you'd maybe be a little more appreciative here.
Sorry, back to The Secret Life of Bugs! They defend themselves by blending into the green vegetation background, and if that fails, by making a stink. Not really a bad stink. I know it from putting thousands of them unavoidably through the combine when I run up north in October to help with the corn. Most of the time they get eaten anyway. But the bird "learns" to check the bar-code next time. Or just goes to Quickee-Mart. So their stink-bug-kids will live in a slightly safer world. If they have any. Which in our case depends on "the kindness of strangers"... Me. Patience and Understanding. They flew in opposite directions after I shot the photo. Never to meet again. One headed off to work on their top-secret bug-sized Manhattan project over in Hattiesburg (shh!). His "wife" will be on 3 to 11 at the Quickee-Mart till her maternity leave. Enough time to poison the bird-seed in the pet-food racks!
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| Far as I know, nobody ever listened to this song and then went out and shot his-self...i don't know, go try it...just shut your windows down from the start menu first...so i don't gotta look at Scan-disk till my you know what falls off...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=505633
 
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| Guess this's what they call "taking the Mountain to Mohammed" Here ya go, ya'all, the Words...You wanna hear the song, it's just a click away..no sign-up, no "Hey, you wanna download Flash Whatever 99? Say Yes or Die!"....Just go listen (Hi-Fi) and come back, OK? http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=505633
 
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| Well, looks like we won! Yep, we're DECLARING VICTORY (and packing up all the gear for our next campaign). And the verdict.."There IS a certain amount of Intelligent Life on Xanga." To borrow from the stellar rating system we kinda un-officially adopted down here, there are "red giants", pulsars, Cepheid variables...all the way down to "brown dwarfs". Yeah, lots of "brown dwarfs", but-uh-that's-cool. So forgiving, we've become! Brown Dwarfs are human, too. Everything is ever-thang. Maybe there's something in the water around here, I don't know. I mean, if everybody was freaking Wittgenstein, who'd have time to sleep? Plus Witt probably "hung out wid his homies" too. (He just didn't torture us with the details, mis-spelled, on a PINK background, in .002 point pica, with a background picture of a newspaper clipping!) Anyway, we found enough reading material to keep a grown man busy, assuming he doesn't have a job...or a life. So the 50meter dish is on Ebay already,the flare-droppers from over there at Kessler(AFB) can quit using us as a "mark", and the logic-units...Hey, we actually learned a couple new lash-ups getting all our filters to work...which is why I called this meeting. Picture Junior in a closed room with two side-by-side doors and an unlimited stockpile of beer.(How'd ya know we're partial to "Genesee" down here? You from Buffalo?) So he's got "orders" to follow, we even put a sign outside the doors letting everybody know the deal. Start with "AND" Anytime Junior's got two guys at the doors at the same time, he gives 'em each a beer and drinks one his own damn self. Only one guy shows up, no deal. So there's a little action, nothing special...Junior decides to change the sign. Now he's "OR". A better deal...anytime somebody shows up at EITHER door (or two guys, one at each door) they party. An "OR" party. Things are looking up. Let's upgrade to "XOR". Big mistake. He bought the book by the cover. "Exclusive OR" knocks out the case where two guys drop by simultaneously. So he tries "NOR"..."not OR" (he can drink unless somebody shows up at either door). That kinda sucks. In the end his best deal (other than tying himself to 5Volt+ through a 2.2K resistor and locking the doors) is NAND. Not-and. (I keep drinking 'till TWO guys come at the same time and stop me). Not that likely. But it happens. Me 'n Leroy were just down there in our "thought-experiment" checking on Junior...Turns out he don't even drink! Next time we'll use him as a varactor diode. Stay tuned. Al | | |
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